Saturday, September 25, 2010

Weigh In Saturday? Ooops!

So in my frantic hurry to get to work on time I forgot to weigh myself before I got out the door.  But I got to it this morning.  And success I weigh 259.9, YAY!  I am thrilled with my progress.  This was a particularly stressful week for me and I still experienced great success.  

To say that I am excited about my new position is an understatement.  I foresee my best teaching year to date.  I just can't describe how happy I am.  I have a wonderful class, a great schedule and fabulous colleagues.  What more could a girl ask for?  Ok so the hour drive each way sucks but that's ok, I can live with that.  It was like coming home after a horrible vacation.  Only thing to do now is get organized and get on task with my students.  So much to do now!  YAY!  

Well I have a weekend filled with renovations and classroom planning.  I probably won't touch base again until Monday. 

Have a great weekend.

Friday, September 24, 2010

I can't sleep.....ugh.

Well I figured since I can't sleep I may as well fill you in on what's going on with me.  Turns out that after much frustration and negotiating, I have been permitted to take the full time teaching position for the year without losing my permanent job.  YAY!  It was really exciting.  But now of course I am overwhelmed with what needs to be done at my new school and therefore I can't sleep.  See I share my classroom with a woman whom I have a difficult time working with.  She's very smart and great at her job we just have very different approaches.  I am sure it will all work out but until things get going I'm a little anxious about it all.   

On the downside of the my life today, we are getting and tone of rain.  Over 10 cm in less then 12 hours with nothing but rain in the forecast for the next few days.  And well apparently, my roof leaks in a few spots.  F*CK!!!!  Pardon my language but my gosh.  I need this like I need a whole in the head.  Not at all.  Hopefully it's just a few things we can patch for this year.  Redoing the roof is NOT, I repeat NOT in my budget for this year.  Oh well such is life.  I mean really when I look at the big picture we are pretty darn blessed.  But it's hard to look at the big picture when you got buckets around to catch the water your roof should be preventing from getting in.  Sigh. 

Another upside to my life, ( I think they call this a bad news sandwich or something like that), many of the girls at my work are taking on some new healthy habits.  I am excited that I am not the only one at work taking on this adventure.  It's hard when your the only one.  Last year there were many and by many I mean 5 pregnant women on a staff of 18.  There were soooo many treats around all the time.  I absolutely love this school and can't wait to get started.  It's kinda like coming home after a horrible vacation. 

Sweet dreams,

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Boo for Yoga, Yay for Line Dancing?

Ok so I actually really like yoga but the instructor on Wednesday night was changed and the new instructor is very nice but for the love of God she talks way too much and doesn't move through the poses fast enough.  So I have decided rather then being frustrated to try something different next week.  They offer line dancing classes at my gym.  I know not my usual thing but I was watching them yesterday and I think it will be fun.  I mean I don't see myself going out to do line dancing in public but I think it will be fun to learn.  Also I use to take dance classes as a kid and I loved them.  So why not try another kind.  It's only 10 weeks, I can commit to that. Oh and it was FREE!  Well I slept in a little this morning and now I gotta run and get ready for work.  

Oh yeah and before I run just a reminder that GREY'S ANATOMY is starting tonight.  Oh how I love that show!  Yay for fall TV. 

Have a great day everyone!


Wednesday, September 22, 2010

What a difference 15 weeks can make!

This post will be posted next week over at A Nu(de) Motivation so here's the sneak peak.

What an amazing difference 15 weeks can make in your life.   The changes in my life have been dramatic.  I was a last minute joiner to this group and have never felt more blessed in my life to be part of something.  The changes within me are not only physical, which is becoming obvious to those around me with my 20lbs loss, but also perhaps even more importantly emotional.  

I hardly recognize the woman I was 15 weeks ago.  Her self talk was horribly destructive.  She labelled herself a victim.  She refused to see that changes had to occur inside, in order for the outside to change.  She was tired all the time.  She could not imagine taking a fitness class.  She was constantly worrying about what others thought of her.  

I am proud to say that 15 weeks later.  I talk to myself the way I would a friend.  I don’t beat myself up anymore.  I compliment myself.  I take the time to see the beauty within me.   I no longer label myself a victim.  I have taken back my self worth by airing out my darkest secrets.  I have been working through it rather then running from it.  Finding my voice again for the first time in years was liberating.  I read a book that encouraged me to face my fears, to realize that no matter how painful or hurtful something may have been, it was in the past, it was over, it was gone; only the memory remaining.  By dealing with that memory I have been able to let go of some of my need for constant control.  I am no longer tired all the time. Who would have guessed that adding in physical activity would increase my energy.  That woman, who couldn’t dream of joining of fitness class, takes 5 per week now and loves them.  I don’t worry nearly half as much about what people think of me now.  They can think what they want.  How ridiculous of me to think that they were even thinking of me.  

The contrast is striking.  I love it.  My new life feels so permanent, this weight loss just beginning.  And although I have weeks where my loss is not what I wish it was.  I know that I am moving in the right direction. 

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Who is this girl?

Seriously, who is this girl that I am becoming.  I have gone to 3 fitness classes already this week and it's only Tuesday.  I hit up Zumba on Monday which was so much fun.  I felt like a fool but had so much fun and was a hot sweaty mess by the end of class!  Today I went to belly dancing which was a good workout but not a huge cardio workout.  Then I ran over the aqua bootcamp which was fabulous as usual.  I just don't know where I got all this energy all of a sudden.  I can't even believe I just did back to back fitness classes.  If you had told me 16 weeks ago that I would be capable of doing that; I would have laughed at you.  The road ahead is a long one but I feel like i have come so far already.  I promise to write a longer post tomorrow but I am so tired. 



Monday, September 20, 2010

So Frustrated

I have been away from my blog for the last few days because I have been so frustrated with a work situation that I am not making the best health decisions.  The long and short of it is that last year I worked at an amazing school with a great class that I loved.  That job was given to someone else who was a permanent teacher.  Then,  I got a permanent job. YAY! But don't really like it.  BOO.  Now that teacher that was placed into my perfect job was moved and I am not allowed to go back to my old class unless I resign from my permanent job which I can't do.  I just feel like I have been shit on.  Stupid union.  I just don't understand why they can't put a temp teacher in my current position for the year and let me do the full time gig for the year.  It's such a huge pay difference.  But alas, it's very much like my food problem.  If I take the short term reward, the full time job, I lose the long term benefit, having a guaranteed job.  I need to work through this but I am so frustrated.  I want to go back to the moment where I was thrilled about having a permanent job, because right now I feel like a bratty kid who is complaining because she didn't get her way. 

So I haven't been eating great, I did some baking, lazed around and felt sorry for myself.  It's not making me feel better so I need to get off this pity train and be happy that I have a job.  So I am off to Zumba which I have been looking forward to for weeks now.  I am sure it will put a smile on my face.