This post will be posted next week over at A Nu(de) Motivation so here's the sneak peak.
What an amazing difference 15 weeks can make in your life. The changes in my life have been dramatic. I was a last minute joiner to this group and have never felt more blessed in my life to be part of something. The changes within me are not only physical, which is becoming obvious to those around me with my 20lbs loss, but also perhaps even more importantly emotional.
I hardly recognize the woman I was 15 weeks ago. Her self talk was horribly destructive. She labelled herself a victim. She refused to see that changes had to occur inside, in order for the outside to change. She was tired all the time. She could not imagine taking a fitness class. She was constantly worrying about what others thought of her.
I am proud to say that 15 weeks later. I talk to myself the way I would a friend. I don’t beat myself up anymore. I compliment myself. I take the time to see the beauty within me. I no longer label myself a victim. I have taken back my self worth by airing out my darkest secrets. I have been working through it rather then running from it. Finding my voice again for the first time in years was liberating. I read a book that encouraged me to face my fears, to realize that no matter how painful or hurtful something may have been, it was in the past, it was over, it was gone; only the memory remaining. By dealing with that memory I have been able to let go of some of my need for constant control. I am no longer tired all the time. Who would have guessed that adding in physical activity would increase my energy. That woman, who couldn’t dream of joining of fitness class, takes 5 per week now and loves them. I don’t worry nearly half as much about what people think of me now. They can think what they want. How ridiculous of me to think that they were even thinking of me.
The contrast is striking. I love it. My new life feels so permanent, this weight loss just beginning. And although I have weeks where my loss is not what I wish it was. I know that I am moving in the right direction.