So today I am up 0.9lbs from last week. I can tell you exactly why too, we ate out 3 nights this week, I bought my lunch 2 days this week and my snacking was out of control. I am not happy with myself because I know how to do this. I want this. I am willing to lose all my evening during the week to workouts but I seem to be throwing my food intake to the side. I need to be more accountable with my food. Monday is November 1st. I want to be in regular size shirts by the end of November. That's the goal. So how am I going to get there?
Step 1: Keep going to the gym 4 nights a week! This is the easy part because I am loving it all of it!
Step 2: Do weight training once a week after Zumba. Gotta start somewhere with this.
Step 3: Count all calories that enter my mouth. This is the hard but easy part. I have to do it everyday all day long hard part. Easy part I have a touch and I have a calorie counter right on it. I will post calories on Friday for each day. I know this is the key right here. Range of calories for me based on my exercise and reaching my goal of 190lbs by Aug 15, 2011 is to currently stay between 1,710 - 2,060 calories per day.
So that's the plan. I am not saying that I will count calories forever but for this month it's necessary. I need some more progress. I am too busy and need to have a target for food otherwise I eat mindlessly. Not a good plan. So November 1st I will start.
Hope everyone has a wonderful Halloween. I am off to a party tonight and must go find a costume!
Cheers!
Leah
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Reflections
So yesterday we went to the in laws for dinner and to visit with my SIL. Dinner was wonderful and it was nice to visit and catch up. I find though since I started on this weight loss journey, I am for some reason or another noticing when people lose or put on weight. It never even use to occur to me, unless the changes were drastic. As I sat there having dinner, I wondered how often when I would come home during university did my family and friends see me and think: "Oh my she's put on weight again". This is exactly what happen to me yesterday, I felt guilty for even thinking it. Why I'm not sure. And I certainly was not judging the person in anyway. It's just that I noticed and that made me so uncomfortable. It left my head full of questions.
No one ever said anything to me, even though I knew they were thinking it, as I was gaining weight. Would I have wanted someone to say something? NO. Did I realize how bad the weight gain was? No. I was in complete denial as a packed on the pounds, slowly moving up one size at a time. Blaming clothing makers for making their sizes smaller and dryers for shrinking my clothes but the reality is that I was getting larger and not wanting to face the truth. I probably wasn't till mid second year when I had to face the reality that shopping in regular stores was officially over for me. It was depressing, I cried, I vowed to change but instead packed on even more weight. By the end of second year I was wearing a size 20 and loss the desire to make a change. Such a contrast to how I feel right now.
Right now, I would want someone to tell me I was gaining weight even though I'd be upset or annoyed with them. Now I am not saying in public, at dinner or in front of anyone, but maybe over a cup of coffee with a good friend. Where concern was expressed sincerely. As I lose the weight, family and friends have expressed their relief that I am FINALLY losing the weight. They are telling me that they were worried about me but not sure what to say. I find it interesting that people can tell you afterwords but not during. We have no problem, or rather I should say I have no problem, telling my parents that I am worried about them because they smoke. That I am concern they will die too young, and get very ill. So why is it, that I would be scared to tell a friend their weight is shortening their lives?
I leave you with thoughts still swirling in my head.
Hope you all have a great day!
Leah
ps. I bought a pair of new jeans size 16W! I am thrilled!
No one ever said anything to me, even though I knew they were thinking it, as I was gaining weight. Would I have wanted someone to say something? NO. Did I realize how bad the weight gain was? No. I was in complete denial as a packed on the pounds, slowly moving up one size at a time. Blaming clothing makers for making their sizes smaller and dryers for shrinking my clothes but the reality is that I was getting larger and not wanting to face the truth. I probably wasn't till mid second year when I had to face the reality that shopping in regular stores was officially over for me. It was depressing, I cried, I vowed to change but instead packed on even more weight. By the end of second year I was wearing a size 20 and loss the desire to make a change. Such a contrast to how I feel right now.
Right now, I would want someone to tell me I was gaining weight even though I'd be upset or annoyed with them. Now I am not saying in public, at dinner or in front of anyone, but maybe over a cup of coffee with a good friend. Where concern was expressed sincerely. As I lose the weight, family and friends have expressed their relief that I am FINALLY losing the weight. They are telling me that they were worried about me but not sure what to say. I find it interesting that people can tell you afterwords but not during. We have no problem, or rather I should say I have no problem, telling my parents that I am worried about them because they smoke. That I am concern they will die too young, and get very ill. So why is it, that I would be scared to tell a friend their weight is shortening their lives?
I leave you with thoughts still swirling in my head.
Hope you all have a great day!
Leah
ps. I bought a pair of new jeans size 16W! I am thrilled!
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