So yesterday we went to the in laws for dinner and to visit with my SIL. Dinner was wonderful and it was nice to visit and catch up. I find though since I started on this weight loss journey, I am for some reason or another noticing when people lose or put on weight. It never even use to occur to me, unless the changes were drastic. As I sat there having dinner, I wondered how often when I would come home during university did my family and friends see me and think: "Oh my she's put on weight again". This is exactly what happen to me yesterday, I felt guilty for even thinking it. Why I'm not sure. And I certainly was not judging the person in anyway. It's just that I noticed and that made me so uncomfortable. It left my head full of questions.
No one ever said anything to me, even though I knew they were thinking it, as I was gaining weight. Would I have wanted someone to say something? NO. Did I realize how bad the weight gain was? No. I was in complete denial as a packed on the pounds, slowly moving up one size at a time. Blaming clothing makers for making their sizes smaller and dryers for shrinking my clothes but the reality is that I was getting larger and not wanting to face the truth. I probably wasn't till mid second year when I had to face the reality that shopping in regular stores was officially over for me. It was depressing, I cried, I vowed to change but instead packed on even more weight. By the end of second year I was wearing a size 20 and loss the desire to make a change. Such a contrast to how I feel right now.
Right now, I would want someone to tell me I was gaining weight even though I'd be upset or annoyed with them. Now I am not saying in public, at dinner or in front of anyone, but maybe over a cup of coffee with a good friend. Where concern was expressed sincerely. As I lose the weight, family and friends have expressed their relief that I am FINALLY losing the weight. They are telling me that they were worried about me but not sure what to say. I find it interesting that people can tell you afterwords but not during. We have no problem, or rather I should say I have no problem, telling my parents that I am worried about them because they smoke. That I am concern they will die too young, and get very ill. So why is it, that I would be scared to tell a friend their weight is shortening their lives?
I leave you with thoughts still swirling in my head.
Hope you all have a great day!
ps. I bought a pair of new jeans size 16W! I am thrilled!