Sunday, October 24, 2010


So yesterday we went to the in laws for dinner and to visit with my SIL.  Dinner was wonderful and it was nice to visit and catch up.  I find though since I started on this weight loss journey, I am for some reason or another noticing when people lose or put on weight.  It never even use to occur to me, unless the changes were drastic.  As I sat there having dinner, I wondered how often when I would come home during university did my family and friends see me and think: "Oh my she's put on weight again".  This is exactly what happen to me yesterday, I felt guilty for even thinking it.  Why I'm not sure.  And I certainly was not judging the person in anyway.  It's just that I noticed and that made me so uncomfortable.  It left my head full of questions. 

No one ever said anything to me, even though I knew they were thinking it, as I was gaining weight.  Would I have wanted someone to say something? NO.  Did I realize how bad the weight gain was? No.  I was in complete denial as a packed on the pounds, slowly moving up one size at a time.  Blaming clothing makers for making their sizes smaller and dryers for shrinking my clothes but the reality is that I was getting larger and not wanting to face the truth.  I probably wasn't till mid second year when I had to face the reality that shopping in regular stores was officially over for me.  It was depressing, I cried, I vowed to change but instead packed on even more weight.  By the end of second year I was wearing a size 20 and loss the desire to make a change.  Such a contrast to how I feel right now.  

Right now, I would want someone to tell me I was gaining weight even though I'd be upset or annoyed with them.  Now I am not saying in public, at dinner or in front of anyone, but maybe over a cup of coffee with a good friend.  Where concern was expressed sincerely.  As I lose the weight, family and friends have expressed their relief that I am FINALLY losing the weight.  They are telling me that they were worried about me but not sure what to say.  I find it interesting that people can tell you afterwords but not during.   We have no problem, or rather I should say I have no problem, telling my parents that I am worried about them because they smoke.  That I am concern they will die too young, and get very ill.  So why is it, that I would be scared to tell a friend their weight is shortening their lives?  

I leave you with thoughts still swirling in my head. 

Hope you all have a great day!


ps.  I bought a pair of new jeans size 16W!  I am thrilled! 

1 comment:

  1. Congratulations on the new pants!

    I guess that especially weight gained, with our modern societies, is a very emotional topic. And since people don't want to be involved in scenes or fights or stuff, they don't say a thing. Even when they really think they should. (I have experienced that it can even be difficult to compliment someone on the weight lost, they'll be like, "You gonna say I was fat??!")

    My father had a heart attack about 3 years ago and was told by the doctors that he really needs to change his diet - from meat, fat and cream to vegetables and healthy stuff. Of course he doesn't listen. But we kids keep telling him, even if we know it's annoying for him. But I want my children to pester their grandfather, and not visit his grave. (He and his girlfriend are getting a self-made healthy-ish cookbook for christmas. *g*)